I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
