is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
