I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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