i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
