I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize