Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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