You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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