Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
