that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
