I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
