she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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