I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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