Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
