who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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