Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
