bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
