What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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