i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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