the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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