i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
