just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
