Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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