She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
