So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
