Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
