3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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