counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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