woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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