So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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