I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
