big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
