What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
