fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
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