kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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