you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
