Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Randomize