I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
