lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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