PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
