there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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