I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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