The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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