I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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