sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
