This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
