you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
