She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
