Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
