I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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