o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
