Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
