Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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