oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
