They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
