I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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